Developing intimacy is the most wonderful experience life has to offer. It establishes a psychological connection between two people who seem to be able to understand and accept each other for who they are. However, for the most part, it is difficult to sustain, and for some, to even establish.
Fear of intimacy is borne out of past experiences of rejection and engulfment. It is the stake of vulnerability that makes intimacy difficult to have. After all, no one ever wants to feel the pain of rejection and of losing oneself. But if we are not going to take the risk, that leap of faith into the unknown, we may never get to have authentic relationships with our loved ones.
Intimacy is not limited to romantic partnership. It may even begin within the family. Most of the younger generation is missing the opportunity to establish intimacy with their parents and siblings. This has been the demise of families all over the world, who seem to have weaker foundations as time goes by. Among friends, intimacy may seem easier to develop, but again, this has not always been so. If you find it difficult to trust your own family, how else will you be able to trust a stranger? And without these meaningful relationships, one will never be able to fully satisfy him/herself in any close partnership.
I suppose that intimacy starts within. Unless we are able to accept and understand who we really are, and be honest about out strengths and limitations, we will not succeed in truly sharing ourselves with anyone. After all, we cannot give what we don’t have.