I am not against reconciling with a former lover or about giving second chances. I am all for forgiveness and giving another try. But my point is, sometimes, it’s really not worth it.
I have friends who would jump at the opportunity to be with their greatest regret, that someone who got away, than take a blind chance on somebody new. But I suppose taking a chance on either has a fairly relative equal amount of risk. When you entertain thoughts about a past relationship, you base your decision strongly on the events and feelings associated with whatever it was that you had before. But hasn’t it occured to you that what you have left are just flashes of memories and emotions you may never get to have again? Likewise, it is highly likely that what makes a former flame so attractive is because of who he/she was way back when you had “the good old days” so to speak. And you fail to see that the same good ol’ days are bygones and seem to be so far away from today. It is in this regard that whoever this new person is, has an equal footing with the old one. What you fail to see is that the old one has changed — just as you have changed.
And so in the name of taking chances, I find it unfair to compare the present from ther past. Just because you have established something with the person from yesterday, does not guarantee that it will make it easier for you to accurately predict what will happen to both of you in the future. And in the same reason, just because you know so little of the person you have today, you should take it against him/her in favor of the one from your past.
Kindling a flame is never easy, rekindling makes it doubly difficult. For all its worth, just make sure you can take the heat.
**again, a very old post…for the same friend. lol**