In the spirit of fairness I often play by the rules. In fact, I have set quite a number of rules for myself to help me in dealing with circumstances and situations that may affect my personal goals and significant relationships. It has helped me for quite a long while, but I have also learned along the way that rules can be restricting. It can impede growth and opportunities could be missed if one becomes rigidly uncompromising about it.
I thought that perhaps one of the reasons why rules are important for me is because I am uncomfortable with failures. Mistakes are easy to admit, but failure isn’t. This is why it is easier to not give anything a try at all, to evade the risk of failure. But what if you succeed? How will you know the outcome if you don’t give it a try? And what is so terrible about failure? Failures don’t kill people.
As existentialists have pointed out, we only have one life to live. It is therefore important to recognize that if a chance is presented to us, we should take time to contemplate if it is worth the risk to let it go untouched and forever wonder what would have happened if we did. Regardless of whether we live by rules or just winging it out, chances rarely come twice. And with this awareness, I suppose, we should pause for a while to carefully consider what both our heart and mind are saying.
This is the part where I wish there was something clever to say, but there isn’t.
Try as I may to conjure a little more emotion than what my set point is used to, I couldn’t.
It’s like being stuck in the middle of something I haven’t quite figured out yet.
They say love can move mountains, but I am just a handful of sand blown by the wind.
It’s not that I refuse to be loved, I just need some air to breathe.
I miss my superhero days. But these days I can’t afford to even save myself.
I find it hard to keep still knowing you are out there, somewhere.
I came across this as I was browsing over the net, and was posted as a status of one of my cousins. Curiosity got me so I had to find out what it’s all about. It turns out to be: COT + C = change over time plus continuity. And then it hit me, must be some difficult essay to write!
I remember a favorite line from Darwin (yeah, the evolutionist), that it is not the strongest nor the most intelligent species that survives, it is the one most responsive to change. He did not specify nor qualify the response required in order to survive. I could only surmise it is a positive response, but what if the response is evasive, like walking away?
There are times when we feel trapped by the circumstances we are in. Other times, we are pressed to make decisions that require snappy judgments. Nevertheless, I would like to believe that leaving the status quo is still a useful response to ensure survival. After all, we must choose our battles wisely. Winning isn’t always grappling the opponent — sometimes, outsmarting them by leaving the game is the best way to survive.
So to have continuity, despite the changes over time, requires nifty tact and prudent decisions.
I remember a teacher I had in high school whose favorite reprimand is, “Ang lata..kapag walang laman, maingay.” (A can, when empty creates much noise.) I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of a rattling can in comparison to useless and constant yakking of most people. I have noticed that a lot of people are uncomfortable with silence — and complain that it is actually deafening. It is sad that people fail to appreciate the difference between the comfort that stillness brings and the silence that is accompanied by the emptiness they feel. And of course, the irony that emptiness can create noise, while fullness indicates a quiet substance.
Silent waters run deep is another adage that sounds similar to this. Shallowness inevitably causes a loud gush that may be inevitable for rivers, much like with people. Just because they couldn’t stand the shallowness and emptiness they feel isn’t enough license to create murmurs and outlandish behaviors to cover them up. Noise is still a pollutant. I hope that these people realize that.
The readings for today’s mass pertain to the sanctity of the union of a man and a woman under the covenant of marriage. The sermon was quite entertaining but I found a lot of his arguments flawed. I couldn’t help but react which led my cousin to tease me that I wasn’t exactly fond of the topic. On the contrary, I am fascinated by it.
With the years catching up on me, I still cannot tell for myself if married life is for me. I know that I can commit myself to anything, or anyone for that matter as long as I make up my mind about it. But commitment is the least of my concerns. Married life is a lifestyle change that involves the overlapping of selves of two individuals who are still out to discover their own potentials and capabilities. And this makes the leap scary, to say the least.
Perhaps this is why we call it ‘married life’ — it is a vocation that calls for sacrifice, commitment and love to reap the rewards of fulfillment, productivity and bliss.