I Am Who You’re Not

I am smart.
I am a strategic (and compulsive) planner, big-picture thinker, complex problem solver, adept decision maker, conceptualist, theorist, and pattern recognizer – in short, I am a “mastermind” [insert evil mastermind laugh here].

I don’t do feelings.
I use critical thinking, reason, and logic. I have a tough time with people who make decisions based on emotions, and can often come across as blunt and cold because I ignore the feelings of others. But on the plus side, I take criticism well since I have no feelings to hurt [insert cruel heartless laugh here].

I live inside my head.

I frequently zone out. I get lost in thought and spend much of my time inside my head. If my immediate reality becomes boring, I will retreat into my mind, and you might have to shout my name repeatedly to get my attention so I will come out again. And no, sorry, but you can’t come into my heads with me. You wouldn’t last five minutes there. You’d be driven insane by the nonstop cacophony of overlapping voices madly free-associating from one idea to the next. [insert sinister neurotic laugh here]

I am self-confident.
I have a very keen awareness of my own knowledge and abilities, and – more importantly – of the limits of my knowledge and abilities. Consequently I can come across as arrogant sometimes. This is your problem to deal with, not mine, since it is a problem of erroneous perception (yours). [no laughter here]

I am aloof.
Because I am somewhat detached from reality, because I am introverted (I find interacting with people to be tiring and tiresome), because I am very private, and because I am impassive, I tend to come across as rather reserved and aloof. Okay, I actually am reserved and aloof.




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